Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Top ten excuses for Luis Suarez

Luis Suarez is surely not the best footballer ever, but the most stupid footballer ever, yes.
That said, I would like to give him a helping hand, so I have some suggestions as excuses he can use to defend himself about his latest outrageous behavior:

10. "Ivanovic put his body into my mouth on purpose!"
9. "Have you not seen the size of my teeth?"
8. "The Europeans do not understand Latin Americans and our culture."
7. "I want to be like Mike (Tyson)"
6. "I thought football was a contact sport?"
5. "Give me some credit! At least I did not racially abuse him!"
4. "I love being suspended. It gives me time to play with myself!"
3. "I want 'La Garra Uruguaya' to be renamed 'La Dentadura Uruguaya'"
2. "As you know, we Uruguayans are known for biting into people..."
1. "'You'll never bite alone'?"

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