I have five suggestions to what Batista can do next:
- Become a football journalist for News of the World
- Clean Julio Grondona's swimming pool
- Spend all the time in the barber's saloon
- Sign up for a reality show
- Coach Paraguay
Some people are calling this a historical Copa América. Admittedly, the tactical standard has been high, and all teams have proven hard to defeat. With the big teams not having performed, it seems any idiot can win this cup with discipline and defending. It is not a tournament that has been characterized by the technical skill and flair that South American football is known for. Perhaps those times are gone. The semifinals of the Copa América will not be some that will catch the world's attention, nor live on in the memory of football fans, unless you support one of the teams, or, like me, live in Venezuela.
Peru is a team of Guinea-pig eaters, who are mostly in the semifinal thanks to their foreign coach. Truth is that Peru has done nothing in football since the 1970s, and since then Peruvian press and fans have spent most of the time trashing their national side. A team with fans like that hardly deserve a trophy.
Every team I support always loses, so I will try not to support Venezuela. Football-wise, they are the only semifinalist that has played half-way entertaining, but has also been lucky.
That said, Venezuela is a baseball country. Before this tournament nobody talked about their footballing side (which was decent, even if anyone here did follow football!), but all of a sudden everyone seems to be an expert. I am happy for Venezuelans, and if they carry through the sensation and win, I will sit on my fucking chair alone and look out of the fucking window to see Caracas celebrating, and wish I were part of it.