Advice to Mr. "Bolillo"

The Colombian national coach, Hernán Darío Gómez, has come into controversy in his country after he was caught beating up a lady in a nightclub in Bogotá last week. He has offered to step down after the scandal, but incredibly as it may sound, many people want him to stay on as coach.

Before I want to give my suggestions for what excuses this guy could use to get away with such a crime, I must say that I have never found him a very good coach - Colombia has the talent to do much better than they have done under him, shown by their recent disappointment in the Copa América against Perú, who in Sergio Markarian have a REAL football brain behind them.

But here are my suggestions of excuses to the woman beater:

5. "This is how I would make discipline if I were coach of Colombia´s feminine side"

4. "She threatened to make it obvious that she knew more about football than me!"

3. "If I beat a man he might hit back! Uh!"

2. "Isn't this what you normally do...?"

1. "I am called "Bolillo" because of the size of my balls"